Why Self-Trust and Confidence Matter more than Ever
I recently attended a presentation by a leading AI expert, right after watching Netflix’s Adolescence. As a father of two young boys, I couldn’t stop thinking: how will my kids navigate a world shaped by AI and social media? How will they build trust in themselves and others amid constant digital distraction and instant gratification?
Technology may make life seem easier, but the real challenge is within. Traits like self-trust, resilience, healthy relationships, and purpose—the foundations of a meaningful life—are becoming harder to cultivate. Teens may struggle to see the value of these qualities as society continues to devalue the process of acquiring them.
The Challenges Teens Face Today
- Confidence: Undermined by constant need for external validation.
- Resilience: Lost to instant gratification and a focus on quick wins.
- Relationships: Replaced by superficial digital connections.
- Well-being: Threatened by anxiety, isolation, and purposelessness.
- Decision-making: Hindered by reactionary choices and information overload.
- Passion & Risk-taking: Stifled by fear of failure and short-term reward focus.
How The Superstar Curriculum Helps
| What We’re Losing | What We’re Replacing It With | How The Superstar Curriculum Helps |
|---|---|---|
| Self-trust | Dependence on external validation and AI/social media input | Fosters self-reflection, confidence, and belief in one’s abilities. |
| Confidence | Doubt and uncertainty in decision-making | Teaches skills to build and maintain self-esteem through growth and contribution. |
| Resilience | Instant gratification instead of perseverance | Encourages long-term growth, patience, and resilience through mindset shifts. |
| Healthy Relationships | Superficial digital connections | Builds meaningful connections based on trust, empathy, and collaboration. |
| Mental and Emotional Well-being | Isolation, anxiety, and purposelessness | Promotes emotional well-being through purpose, balance, and connection. |
| Responsible Decision-Making | Snap decisions based on quick information | Equips with tools for responsible, thoughtful decision-making with long-term vision. |
| Risk-Taking & Passion Exploration | Fear of failure, avoidance of exploration | Encourages healthy risk-taking, exploration of passions, and learning through action. |
The Superstar Curriculum isn’t about simply adapting to technology. It’s about helping teens see the value in traits that will be essential for their well-being in a future where these qualities are scarce and harder to develop.
At the end of the day, this isn’t about the book—it’s about the teen holding it and the values that will guide them. Not every teen will read it, but the ones who do will gain self-trust, confidence, and clarity that set them apart in a world moving faster than ever.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for leading!
Leading Really is a Treat
I recently had someone reach out wondering how they could begin getting their young children to identify as leaders, and it got me thinking about what analogy might do the trick. Today, I used the analogy with a group of 40 youth, and by the end of the presentation, all 40 viewed themselves as leaders as opposed to only 8 people at the beginning of the presentation. Here’s what we talked about:
In the television series Mad Men, the fictional ad agency Sterling Cooper created an tagline for the iconic brand Popsicle:
Take it. Break it. Share it. Love it.
The message was brilliant because it wasn’t about frozen treats. It was about taking what people perceived as one thing and turning it into an action-based experience that brought people together and multiplied impact.
Here’s how we can apply the same simple formula to developing leaders:
Step 1: Take it off its Pedestal
Take ownership of leadership. Just like a popsicle, leadership is for everyone—it’s not reserved for the elite or those with titles. It’s there for everyone to grab. Taking leadership off its pedestal means seeing it as something tangible and accessible at any moment by anyone. It’s about recognizing that leadership is ordinary. Believe that you are a leader.
Step 2: Break it Into Small Actions
Breaking leadership into small, meaningful actions create positive outcomes for others and yourself. Leadership doesn’t need to feel overwhelming. Whether it’s offering a helping hand, speaking up when it matters, or setting a positive example, leadership often thrives in small, bite-size, intentional acts. These actions are the evidence you need to collect in developing the genuine belief that your actions can create positive outcomes for yourself and others. When you break leadership down, it becomes manageable, repeatable, and impactful.
Step 3: Share it with Others
Leadership is best shared. When you lead with your best self, you will create leadership opportunities for others by bringing out the best in them. Sharing leadership means building a culture of collaboration and empowerment. Your actions will inspire those around you to contribute, take initiative, and see themselves as leaders too. Together, shared leadership creates a ripple effect that amplifies its impact. While personal leadership is important, in order to lead others, you also have to be willing to give a bit of yourself to others. Leader-to-leader interaction is the ultimate goal, but it starts with you.
Step 4: Love it!
Loving leadership means embracing the ways you can contribute positively to others or yourself, no matter how big or small – not someday, but today. By embracing the leader within yourself and by recognizing your ability to share leadership, you’ll naturally seek out more opportunities to lead and grow, every single day.
Leadership Is for Everyone
Just like a Popsicle, leadership is for everyone to experience at anytime – young or old, winter or summer, inside or outside, in private or in public. Leadership doesn’t have to be complicated or exclusive—it can be simple, tangible, and meaningful.
Leadership: Take it off its pedestal. Break it into small actions. Share it with others, and love that you are a leader. Being a leader really is a treat when you break it down and give yourself to others.
Grab a popsicle with your kids and talk about how they can take, break, share, and love leadership. Then, give them opportunities to go out and do just that!
Here is an example of my 5-year-old son Rafa collecting evidence that he is a leader, which I hope will eventually develop into a genuine belief that his actions can positively affect others. If you are wondering what his little brother Reese is doing when he’s staring at his hand, he is “getting strength” haha.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdrVDV4wTKs
Thanks for reading, and thanks for leading!
– Ryan
The Leadership Lag: Turning Potential into Practice
Today’s Youth, Tomorrow’s Leaders
We hear and say the above all the time. Today’s youth hold the keys to tomorrow’s leadership. Our young people are brimming with potential, yet too often, we fail to unlock it. Why? Because we rarely take the time to explicitly discuss what leadership truly means in a way they truly understand.
When we want to develop great teachers, we discuss what effective teaching looks like. When we want to develop skilled athletes, we focus on what makes a great player. Yet, when it comes to leadership, we hesitate.
This hesitation is holding us back in the number of leaders we can develop —and it’s time for a shift. What if we could bridge the gap between leadership potential and leadership development and close what I call “The Leadership Lag”?
Closing the Leadership Lag
The Leadership Lag is the gap between leadership potential and leadership development. It’s the untapped space where dreams fade because action isn’t taken. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
When we redefine leadership as a simple action-based practice, we can empower young people to rise. We can create systems that nurture leadership at every level. And we can close the gap between what’s potentially possible and what’s actually achievable.
Leadership Isn’t What They Think
Leadership isn’t some innate quality reserved for the extraordinary. It’s a skill—a practice—that anyone can learn. Research suggests that most people, however, don’t see themselves as leaders, especially people in equity-seeking groups. Why? Because they’ve been conditioned to believe they don’t fit the leadership mold.
If you Google “characteristics of effective leadership,” you’ll find lists of traits that, while exceptional, seem daunting, if not impossible, to embody. Most people wouldn’t look at these lists and think, “That’s me.” Furthermore, we tend to glorify leadership through examples of high-ranking officials or high-profile stars.
As a result, leadership comes with reputational risks that people prefer to avoid, so they simply choose to look outward for leadership instead of looking inward.
But here’s the truth: Nobody can be all things at once, and they don’t need to be, but we can all be one thing at any given time. We can all be leaders in any given moment.
Leadership Is Action, Not Perfection
Leadership isn’t about being perfect. In fact, any leader is an imperfect one. It’s about recognizing a moment where you can make a difference and saying, “I am a leader. I can make a difference. I’ve got this.”
When we re-define leadership as acting on the genuine belief that your actions can create positive outcomes for others and yourself, we unlock its true potential.
Leadership isn’t a title. It’s an action-based approach that’s within reach for everyone. This approach is both personal and far-reaching. The best leader we can be is the leader of our own lives. From there, we can then also best serve and influence others.
Building a Genuine Belief in Leadership
At the core of leadership is a genuine belief built on evidence and personal values that guides our actions, even when there’s no immediate reward.
As role models, we have a responsibility to help young people build this genuine belief that their actions matter. We cannot just tell our youth they are the future leaders. We should create explicit opportunities for them to see themselves as leaders, to gather the evidence they need to trust in their own ability to contribute positively, and to embrace the value of action-based leadership. If we want more people to identify as leaders, we need to start identifying leadership opportunities and actions more often.
Action-Based Leadership: Re(flect, then)act.
Action-based leadership is the antidote to hesitation, self-doubt, and knee-jerk reactions that cripple progress. It shifts the approach from reacting in situations to reflecting and then acting with purpose.
When you adopt this leadership approach, everything changes. You’ll act more and react less. You’ll broaden your perspective yet sharpen your focus. You’ll say yes to more opportunities but say no more confidently and appropriately. You’ll take more risks but you’ll feel safer doing so. You’ll give more and take less. You’ll make decisions in the present that are better for your future. You’ll become more reflective, corrective, and effective as a person and leader.
Leadership as a System
James Clear famously said, “We don’t rise to the level of our goals; we fall to the level of our systems.”
If our goal is to create the leaders of tomorrow, we need systems that explicitly empower youth to identify as leaders. We need to embed the topic of leadership into the fabric of education, mentorship, and community.
When we focus on leadership development, we create better learners, better collaborators, and better problem-solvers. Right now, too many people worry too much about fitting in instead of standing out. We can, however, create an environment where standing out is fitting in.
Leadership as a System: Building Leader-to-Leader Interaction
Leader-to-leader interaction is where true leadership systems thrive. It’s not about a hierarchy where one person leads and others follow. Instead, it’s about a collaborative space where every individual feels empowered to lead, contribute, and learn from others.
When leader-to-leader interactions happen, something powerful emerges:
- Ideas multiply as leaders build on each other’s strengths.
- Responsibility is shared, creating a more resilient team or community.
- Everyone takes ownership of the group’s success.
This approach eliminates silos and replaces them with a culture of shared leadership, where everyone recognizes their role in driving progress. When leadership becomes a system, it becomes sustainable—and its impact becomes exponential.
Why Leader-to-Leader Interaction Matters
Imagine a school, workplace, team, or community where leadership isn’t limited to a select few. Instead, everyone identifies as a leader. They collaborate as equals, bringing their unique strengths to the table.
This is the power of leader-to-leader interaction: It creates an ecosystem where leadership isn’t top-down—it’s all around. It’s a system that encourages growth, innovation, and mutual empowerment.
If we want to create the leaders of tomorrow, we need to teach them to lead alongside one another, not above or below. Leadership isn’t a competition—it’s a collaboration. And when we build systems that foster this collaboration, we bridge the Leadership Lag for good.
The future of leadership is a shared, concerted, explicit effort.
Now Is the Time to Lead
This is your moment. Whether you’re a teacher, a mentor, a parent, or a friend, you have the power to spark change. You have the power to empower others. You have the power to lead.
Leadership starts small—with a decision, a moment, an action. And when we commit to building a critical mass of people who identify as leaders, we create unstoppable momentum.
The Leadership Lag is waiting to be closed, and we can all step up and lead the way one purposeful action at a time.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for leading.
– Ryan
Introduction to CHOPS: A Framework for High Performance
When it comes to achieving sustained high performance, there’s an essential blend of elements that drive consistent results. In my new framework, CHOPS—Character, Habits, Opportunities, Priorities, and Skills—I explore the core components that empower individuals to reach their fullest potential.
Breaking Down the CHOPS Framework
Character
This is the foundation of who you are. It’s about integrity, resilience, and the values you uphold even when no one is watching or when life gets most challenging. Without strong character, any achievement is built on shaky ground, which brings the longevity of the achievement into question.
Habits
Daily habits shape long-term outcomes. It’s not just about motivation, which can be fleeting, but the systems you put in place to create consistent progress. Habits are the small actions that compound over time to create significant results.
Opportunities
Recognizing and leveraging opportunities is a skill in itself. Those who succeed understand how to position themselves to make the most of the chances that come their way, whether through networking, timing, or preparation.
Priorities
Knowing what matters most and aligning your efforts accordingly ensures that you’re focused on what truly contributes to success. Prioritizing well prevents burnout and maximizes the impact of your work.
Skills
While skills are often the most visible and celebrated aspects of performance, they are underpinned by the other elements of CHOPS. Developing relevant skills and continuously learning is key, but without character, habits, opportunities, and clear priorities, skills alone won’t lead to sustainable achievement.
Building on James Clear’s Identity-Based Goal Setting
James Clear discusses the simple yet brilliant concept of identity-based goal setting in his best-selling book Atomic Habits. Clear emphasizes shifting from outcome-based goals, like wanting to lose 15 pounds, to identity-based goals, such as becoming someone who doesn’t miss workouts. He advises proving this identity to yourself every day through small daily wins—a powerful approach that lays the groundwork for long-term behaviour change. You can learn more here at https://jamesclear.com/identity-based-habits, and I highly recommend his best-selling book.
The Challenge with Identity-Based Goals
One challenge with identity-based goals, however, is understanding your new identity and why it can sometimes be difficult to prove this new identity to oneself. Using the above example where the new identity is becoming someone who never misses a workout, following through on the small daily act of 10 push-ups is simple when you are still highly motivated, eager, not sore, not tired, not busy, and seeing progress. But life is inherently filled with challenges, ups, and downs. When life gets tough, so does maintaining consistency.
How CHOPS Complements Identity-Based Goals
This is where CHOPS builds on Clear’s work by laying out what that identity truly means. CHOPS helps individuals understand that sustained high performance goes beyond habit formation. It’s about having the character to persist when enthusiasm wanes, maintaining habits when life gets complicated, seizing opportunities even in less-than-ideal conditions, prioritizing what matters amidst chaos, and continuing to develop skills despite setbacks.
Here’s the example from above:
Conclusion: The Bumpy Path to Enduring Excellence
Understanding how the elements of CHOPS interplay can mean the difference between temporary success and enduring excellence. In between those two elements are challenges of multiple varieties. By developing strong character, consistent habits, seizing opportunities, prioritizing effectively, and honing skills, you can navigate challenges and thrive in any endeavor. This framework provides a roadmap for not just achieving your goals, but sustaining them through all of life’s ups and downs. You’ve got the CHOPS to thrive.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for leading!
Sincerely,
Ryan
It's Your Time to Shine 